madara tsubaki

i was frustrated all day and didn't really feel like drawing/painting... then, i found this little hidden feeling deep inside me and so i let it out. i was used to not having hope/ high expectation to life/people, but it seems like i am changing and i loathed myself for being so. as it became words, my heart showed the desire to paint this flower.
can't tell really why.
but might have something to do with the legend of "yao(or happyaku) bikuni" who ate mermaid's flesh and lived 800years. the flower shows it's appearance at the end of the story, if you are interested.